1. That the Arboretum is not a huge flower garden - it's actually a bird and squirrel zoo? And the best places to chase birds and squirrels are the farthest from the flowers?

2. That the book "The Little Red Caboose" is entirely about dogs and birds? The train is a minor character, at best.

3. That potting soil belongs anywhere BUT in a flower pot. 

4. That bananas and scrambled eggs aren't just good for breakfast - they're also good for your hair.

5. That grunting or whining is WAY more fun than using one of the hundreds of words that you recognize but won't say.

6. That toothpaste is delicious.

7. That wiping a toddler's nose is one of the few remaining no-nos under the Geneva Convention.

8. That grinning and saying "mama" or "dada" gets you out of most any trouble. Parents are suckers.

9. That when mommy picks up one of your favorite foods at the grocery store, you must cradle it in the arms for the rest of the shopping trip, then scream when the checker tries to scan it.

10. That hiding food in the toy bins is a great way to save a snack for a rainy day.

The roller coaster creaks up another big crest. . .

At last week's appointment, my doctor said that I would have a checkup today and then labor would be induced on Tuesday (tomorrow). He said there was a possibility that the Labor and Delivery dept. would be too busy and we'd have to push it (pardon the pun) to Wednesday, but that didn't seem too likely. And my brain locked in on Tuesday as baby day.

Thus I have been reassuring myself with the mantra "you can make it until Tuesday" for a week now. The heartburn, swelling, racing pulse, night sweats, shortness of breath, general large-ness, and other stuff that nobody wants to read about would all (or at least mostly) come to an end on Tuesday.

Or not.

We learned today that the L&D dept. is busy and I will be induced at 8 a.m. on Wednesday. I managed not to cry in front of the doctor but then wept in the car (pregnancy hormones are great). Logically, sure, it's just one more day out of hundreds that I have been pregnant. But waiting until Wednesday still felt like a setback.

I have since taken some deep breaths and eaten a couple of brownies, and with the perspective that only chocolate therapy can provide, I can see the benefit of having another day to prepare for parenthood as best we can. Still, the whiny kid in me thinks "When does it get to be MY turn?!"

I can usually come up with at least a decent metaphor or simile to describe a situation. Example: The co-ed in line ahead of me was flakier than a Hungry Jack biscuit.

However, it seems as though pregnancy is the mother of all metaphors (pardon the pun). I can't find any better, more visual way to describe pregnancy than literally. For example, right now it feels like there's a person inside me with her feet up under my right lung. And that is indeed the situation.

It's unnerving not to have metaphor as a linguistic crutch - I feel a bit vulnerable, a bit too exposed when I talk about how I'm feeling. Yet it's also empowering to be experiencing something that is incomparable. 

(Posts like this are the unfortunate result of putting a pregnant grammar nerd on bed rest and giving her too much time to muse.)